From the Ledge

I have been behind a little bit in going through the new articles popping up on my Google Reader since I spent most of this week in Boston for a sales presentation, but boy did I do the noisiest, most energetic, most ecstatic happy dance ever when I read the press release posted yesterday in Oscars.org naming the presenters and performers for the February 24 Academy Awards. Yes, there will be an Oscar ceremony after all! Yes, Clooney, Kidman, Tom Hanks, my girl J Hud, Cate Blanchett, those two unnamable Oscar winning broads with initials HS and RZ,–oh no wait a minute, forget those two–will be walking down that glorious red carpet under the California sun, and life will be all good! Yes, we will have an interminable four hour show with lots of gratuitous film clips and a snore-inducing In Memoriam section after all! And yes Jon Stewart can now redeem himself from a flop first hosting stint two years ago! Ha! So with the Oscars now set to take place for certain, I can now turn my thoughts to the important questions. No, not whether No Country for Old Men or There Will Be Blood will win Best Picture, or whether Julie Christie will outshine Marion Cotillard and Ellen Page to win her second gold statuette, silly. The important things to ponder for the upcoming week are: Will Best Director nominee Julian Schnabel come to the ceremony wearing lingerie underneath his tux, now that he has done the pajama-under-tux look at the Nominees luncheon (hmmm…I hope Lane Bryant carries his size)? Will Frances McDormand, accompanying her husband multiple Oscar nominee Joel Coen, prove once again the futility of using hair product on certain types and texture of follicle? Will J Hud, bless her soul, say Jay-vier Bare-dame when she announces the winner of Best Supporting Actor? How many women and gay men will refuse sex with their husbands on Sunday night once they see presenter Patrick Dempsey looking gorgeous in a tux and with that abundant beautiful hair proving, unlike Frances, that hair product is one of the most important inventions of modern times? What the hell is Miley Cyrus presenting - Best Key Grip? And the most important question of all - When will the Divine Ms. Jennifer M, my Oscar soul mate, predictions rival, sister in punditry and prognostication, unexpectedly rear her head, like the Loch Ness monster, on my blog? (Keep checking From the Ledge next week for our 2008 Oscar predictions!).

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